Wednesday, 14 May 2008

Sex and dating - Playing the field?

In response to a question from Petey Nickell regarding "playing the field" when you are younger, my good friend Gary Boal replied with the following:

"Honestly, I believe that the desire of a young person to have a girlfriend or boyfriend is a great motivating factor to become a man or woman worthy of dating and marriage.

I believe that we should only date members of the opposite sex who we could honestly see ourselves spending our future with. In this I'm aware that a certian amount of 'dates' and 'getting to know eachother' need to happen before that conclusion can be drawn.

What I'd say is that to play the field is wrong and has at core a sinful attitude of self gratification (not even speaking sexualy), but that when we date, we should be aware that for that time God has placed that girl in our possession for His glory. That she is a sister in Christ and not yet one with us and so should be treated with respect as we persue relationship with her.
Also that we should be a blessing to her walk with Christ and in our example of what Godly manhood looks like.

It is a sure thing that alot of relationships don't last, so as Christians date, we must find a God exalting, Christ centered way of doing that. I think the Song of Solomon is great on this, in that the couple spend time getting to know each other - they date. So dating's biblical! Chapter 2:8-10 shows him coming and asking for a date.

I have to hold my hands up and say I do have some extreme veiws that are shaped from Song of Solomon. I am leaning on the side of french kissing as being for marriage alone - the only time we see it is after the couple are married and are in foreplay getting ready to make love. (4:11) But I'd only advise this, the main thing is that each person doesnt ask the question 'how far can i go' but rather asks 'How can I best glorify Christ in this?'

1 Corinthians 10:31 tells us "Whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of Christ". I reckon that dating falls under "whatever" and "all".

So although I do believe in dating and wouldn't put an age limit on it, and would even encourage the awareness that a particular relationship may not last, I'd say that to 'play the field' holds a wrong heart motive, one that is about onesself getting around as many delightful partners as possible and getting self enjoyement in this area and doesn't first point to God in it".

Go on the G Boal!

Gary posts almost daily on Homelio, and can't help but bring everything to Song of Solomon eventually! Pervert! You should check it out.

d


4 comments:

Boaly said...

I laugh at what you say at the end of that!
I can't help it if I have a longing to see sexuality reclaimed for the glory of God and make the Song of Solomon sing!

HAHA!

simont said...

It is true though Boaly!! If there is a link to be found to bring it up, you will gladly look for it and take it! Love it!

Anonymous said...

Ok, Ok, I'll admit to it!
Just always figure that it is such a plague to us and comes from every source outside of the church, that its good to keep reminding ourselves that sex is a gift from Christ for His glory and that apart from marriage we should refrain from it!

I'll have to refrain from linking back to SOS in future!

simont said...

Don't at all boaly! It keeps us both entertained and instructed!